Yes, Prom is not After-Prom

By Rami Gruman, 12th grade

Last year, following five years of effort, the administration finally succeeded in convincing Shalhevet’s senior class to eschew traditional prom celebrations in favor of a replacement created by the administration, dubbed “Senior Soirée.” This year, however, the seniors have thus far decided against the Soirée in favor of a return to prom.
The administration has expressed its disappointment with this decision, and urged seniors to reconsider. They have argued both to students and parents that having a soirée would eliminate concerns regarding both safety and inclusivity towards those who do not want to partake in Prom — both of which have been issues that have arisen during typical senior class end of year celebrations.

But ending the year with a Soirée would not be more moral, or even more in line with Shalhevet’s values, than ending it with a prom.  That’s because the problem isn’t with prom — it’s with after-prom, which most likely would occur in some fashion even after a Soiree.
In contrasting the virtues of a typical prom and Soirée, it is critical to separate the separate entities of prom and after- prom. The vast majority of violations of “Shalhevet values” — namely the proliferation of drugs, alcohol, and immodesty — occur during the after-prom.

If having a soirée would also eliminate the possibility of an after-prom, the view of Soirée as being more in line with Shalhevet’s values would be understandable.  But aside from its name, there is no aspect of after-prom that requires it to occur in tandem with prom — and indeed,  after-prom type celebrations were not eliminated last year. They merely occurred without prom as a preliminary.

According to numerous members of last year’s senior class — none of whom would allow their names to be used for this article — there was a grade-wide party the night of graduation. “We didn’t feel like a Soirée deterred us from having parties,” said one 2017 graduate who did not want to be named. These parties resembled an after-prom party, with alcohol, marijuana and mixed dancing.

Additionally, most members of last year’s senior class attended the YULA after-prom, which took place a few days after Soirée. So while some considered the 2017 Soirée a resounding success in concluding seniors’ Shalhevet journey in a manner that was in accordance with Jewish values, the reality was that their last experience together as a grade was at a party, just like the classes of previous years.

After-prom celebrations do indeed involve violations of Modern Orthodox values and safety risks, but prom itself does not. If the senior class holds a prom, students who feel either unsafe or unethical attending after-prom can simply attend prom and skip the after-party.

Such students are in no better a position if the senior class decides to have a Soirée: they will be able to attend Soirée without encountering dangers to either their safety or religious values, but they will still be either uncomfortable attending or excluded from the after-prom party that will come  a few days earlier or later.

So while the administration continues to push for the senior class to reconsider its decision to have prom in favor of Soirée, they should know this: the choice will have no bearing on whether or not Shalhevet’s values will be collectively violated by the senior grade this June. No matter what else happens, there’s nothing they can do about the fact that this year will likely conclude with an after-prom-like event involving alcohol and more.

They should focus their fundraising efforts — and the $10,000 expense of Soirée — elsewhere.